Happiness is . . .
By Vickie Magic
No matter how happy we are, we could always be a little happier.
The truth is that each and every one of us just wants to be happy.
We might say we already are, but if somebody said to you, ‘Take this pill and you will be happy for the rest of your days’, I bet most of us would take the pill!
Why is it that we, as in you and me, continually sabotage our happiness?
Why do we do it?
Over and over we are the ones, most of the time, who stand in our own way. Sure we will often put the blame on others, he said, she said, didn’t say, did this, did that, did the other thing. We say if it wasn’t for this (insert your reason here), I know I would be happy; they are to blame, the incident is to blame. But that’s not true. There is usually only one person that stands in our way, and we see that person every day when we look in the mirror, telling us all the reasons why we’re not happy, and usually blaming an incident or a person.
I don’t know about you, but I believe that it’s time to stop.
You may be thinking, ‘Yep, she’s right, but I just keep on getting in my own way. I just keep on doing exactly the opposite of what I know works and I just don’t know why. What is wrong with me? I’m not normal. Why can’t I be happy like all those people I see in fakebook, I mean Facebook; they have it all, they look beautiful, they are so happy, why not me?’
Your happiness (and mine) is there for the taking.
We are the ones that continually confuse things.
We constantly look for what’s wrong.
I certainly know I used to.
We are very good ‘rubbish-making machines’; very good ‘meaning making machines’.
That person didn’t invite me to that event and that means this about me, and we make up a meaning.
They don’t like me.
What did I do wrong?
What did I say?
What didn’t I say?
Why didn’t they invite me?
They obviously didn’t want me there.
We make up some meaning that makes us feel LESS THAN.
Sometimes the truth is that they just didn’t invite you, they just didn’t think of you.
Or we truly believe that we didn’t achieve something because of something someone else did or didn’t do, often leaving us with the feeling that we are ‘NOT ENOUGH’.
We often feel we are never quite what we want to be?
Not tall enough
Not short enough
Not smart enough
Not pretty enough
Not slim enough
Not rich enough
Not worthy enough
Not this that and the other thing ENOUGH
Seriously IT’S ENOUGH.
It has to STOP. We are THE THING THAT IS STOPPING US FROM BEING ENOUGH, HAVING ENOUGH. FEELING ENOUGH, IT’S ENOUGH.
Are you prepared to make a decision right here, right now for you, that it’s enough?
Are you willing to do what it takes to STEP UP AND INTO THE BEST YOU POSSIBLE?
You can you know!
You actually already have all that you need to be as happy as you want to be, it’s within you.
IT’S YOUR HEART.
Your heart is love and love is ALWAYS kind. So why are you being mean to you? Why are you telling yourself that you’re not enough? I know I spent way too long telling myself that I wasn’t enough.
We constantly think that we will be HAPPY when we are SUCCESSFUL. But the real reality is that we will only be SUCCESSFUL when we are HAPPY.
It’s old but true and it comes down to training our mind to work with us instead of against us. You are whatever you say you are – FULL STOP.
SO STOP SAYING THE THINGS THAT YOU DON’T WANT AND START SAYING THE THINGS THAT YOU DO.
You are at the steering wheel, you are the driver, you are the designer of your future, and the creator of your destiny.
I can’t believe how long I stayed stuck in my own crapola and that’s the reason I am sharing this, that’s the reason I am so passionate about this stuff. No-one has to stay stuck; each and every human can live with joy, passion and the happiness they so desire.
I see you. I see your heart.
It’s full of LOVE.
It wants to give love.
It wants to get love.
It wants to be love.
But you are standing in the way; you think you should look a certain way, or be seen a certain way, or you won’t achieve your goals of success.
You may think that hatred and resentment are someone else’s fault and that you can’t HELP IT. You may think that you just feel how you feel. You may think if this person changed or that person changed, or this or that didn’t happen, everything would be fine. You may think it will be perfect (and you will be happy) when you get a partner, leave a partner, get a degree, get a house, move houses, get a certain amount of money, get a job, leave a job, lose weight, blah blah (insert your ‘thing’ here)
But it won’t because wherever you go, YOU ARE. Unless and until you SURRENDER to you and SURRENDER to everything being perfect just as it is, even when and especially when it isn’t, then nothing will change. You can actually train yourself to find joy in learning the lessons from the challenges life bring. “Glad I learnt that lesson, I’ll have a full coat of armor the next time that sucker tries to pull me down”.
We are so good at holding onto the past; some of us are actually still angry about things that happened a very long time ago. We allow stuff from yesterday to stuff up today. Why would we do that? Why would we bring old stuff into the present? Why would we allow something that is not even happening now to wreck our ‘now’? We have all done it and we have all known someone that has done it.
The reason is that we are human.
It’s the same with the future; how many of us stress and worry about something that may or may not ever happen in our future? We allow that stuff to fill our minds with WHAT IFs. What if this, what if that, what if the other thing. Sure, stuff happens, life is not all rainbows and lollipops and I’m not saying it is; I’m simply saying let’s only allow the stuff that is happening RIGHT NOW, AND RIGHT HERE UPSET US, not stuff from the past or the future. Just imagine how much HAPPIER we could be if we made that decision.
So, the next time something from the past or the future tries to destroy your amazing wonderful NOW, just become an observer. When you become an observer or your mind, you are no longer trapped by it. Just remove yourself and pretend that you are a friend helping a friend. Talk to problem that is trying to enter your now and say, “Nope, you are not welcome, ping off. I am not allowing you into my NOW”, and don’t let it in. The first time you try this, even the second and third, it probably won’t work. But keep on doing it and you will get good at it and pretty soon you will see that you can actually shut the door on that crap.
There is no way I would let something from yesterday or tomorrow to upset my today. People are constantly try to remind us of why we were upset and how we still should be, but what for? So that we can rob ourselves of our JOY? I say the past is the past and it is NOT WELCOME HERE, the future is the future and we have no idea what it holds.
Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving. Forgiveness gives us peace. When you don’t forgive, it’s just the same as drinking poison but expecting the other person to die. It’s actually you that dies, that pain of anger, it slowly kills you. You don’t have to forgive to their face; you just have to say, ‘I forgive you’. I believe that everyone is just doing their absolute best in any given moment with the tools they have and the tools they have depend on where they have come from and quite often we have no idea where that is. So just let it go and forgive. It doesn’t mean you have to become best buddies, you don’t even have to talk to someone that caused you pain, but if you are searching for happiness, this is the key. If you want BLISS stop being so stubborn. Life is so short.
You may have pain right now – I’m not saying our world is pain-free, physically or mentally. And you may not have your life’s desires right now. But honestly, when you surrender to everything and accept ‘what is’, everything changes. Be grateful for what you have right now, practice daily gratitude, whatever you focus your attention to you get more of, why not focus on what you want more of.
When you begin to look for the gift in the lesson you get from the stuff that isn’t perfect, you will begin to see that it doesn’t matter what happens one iota; all that ever matters is what you make it mean. You and I get to choose that.
We can choose it means we are not enough, not loved, OR we can choose that people just do what people just do and it means nothing about us. When we choose that, we maintain our happiness. Who doesn’t want that? I know I sure do.
So the next time someone (yes, I mean you) attempts to rob you of your joy, stand up for you. Stand up for your happiness and refuse to budge. Refuse to move, refuse to allow your feathers to be ruffled; imagine yourself putting on your Teflon onesie, and let it slide, nothing sticks to that sucker.
I certainly don’t mean be a walkover; I just mean make sure that the meaning that you give things serves you and makes you feel good.
HAPPINESS DOES NOT DEPEND ON WHAT YOU HAVE, OR DON’T HAVE, OR EVEN WHO YOU ARE, IT DEPENDS SOLELY ON WHAT YOU THINK!